


Two Words

by CaptainDodge



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 01:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15474543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainDodge/pseuds/CaptainDodge
Summary: In Tents Debate AU. A scheme that Team Aloha Beach hatches pays off, and the Louds end up going to Aloha Beach for the weekend. Unfortunately, Lucy ends up getting more than she bargained for...





	1. Surf's Up

The annual Loud family vacation was just around the corner – but this year promised to be different. Sick of him and his sisters suffering bears, mosquitoes, and crazy hill people at Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds, Lincoln Loud instead persuaded his parents to move the vacation to either Aloha Beach or the Dairyland Amusement Park.

There was only one problem – they didn't specify which one.

The Loud siblings put the matter to a vote, and the result was a tie – five sisters for Dairyland, five for Aloha Beach. Lincoln was the tiebreaker, and, finding that he could not decide at the moment, he asked to defer his decision to the end of the day. Determined to get him on their side, Team Aloha Beach and Team Dairyland showered Lincoln with favors all day long – and like a dairy cow, he milked it for all it was worth.

Finally, however, the day came to an end. Fed up with pampering Lincoln, his sisters surrounded him in his room as he was getting ready for bed.

"All right, Lincoln," Lynn said, "your time's up. What's it gonna be?"

Lincoln wasn't about to give up his new-found privileges that easily. "I know I said I'd decide by the end of the day, but I'm still torn." He leaned back, lounging. "Can I have just one more day?"

Lola was just about ready to snap. "Why, you  _lousy LITTLE –!"_

Just as she lunged at Lincoln, Lori stopped her, clamping both hands over her mouth. "Uh, not… a problem…  _hahaha…_   _We… understand,"_  she said through gritted teeth.

None of the other sisters wanted to fall out of Lincoln's good graces, either, so they all retired to their rooms, grumbling. Lincoln smiled, knowing that he had bought himself another day of rest and relaxation, until he felt you, the reader, looking at him disapprovingly.

"Can you blame me?" he asked you defensively. "No matter what I decide, five of them are still gonna be mad at me." It was a poor excuse and you both knew it, so Lincoln dropped the act. "But this day has been  _amazing."_  He laid down. "So, I figure, why not take advantage of it a little longer?"

But what Lincoln didn't know was that Team Aloha Beach had gathered in Lori and Leni's room (as both were on the same team) to plan their next move.

" _Ugh,"_  Lori sighed, "what are we going to do, you guys? We need to try harder to show him why the beach is better."

Lucy got an idea. "Or…" she said (making everyone jump a little), "…we sweeten the deal."

The other members of Team Aloha Beach looked at her quizzically.  _"Huh?"_

"I mean, we make him an offer in exchange for his vote – one so good, he  _can't_  pass it up."

Lola leaned forward. _"Ooh…_  I'm listening…"

Lucy hopped off of Leni's bed. "Be right back."

Lucy slipped out of Lori and Leni's room, into the hallway, then into the room she shared with Lynn. Making sure her roommate wasn't looking, she reached under the bed and pulled out a locked box. Using a key that she wore around her neck, Lucy unlocked it, made  _absolutely_  sure Lynn wasn't watching, then took a deep breath and opened it.

Inside were her  _Princess Pony_  comics. Even Lucy needed a break from the darkness every now and then – but not right now. What she needed was on the left-most side of the box. Lucy pulled it out and examined it, making sure it was still fresh. She had been saving this for a special occasion, when she needed something from Lincoln, and she figured that now was as good a time as any.

As Crowley was her witness… she  _would_  see a shark attack this summer.

Lucy closed and locked the box, making  _extra_ absolutely sure that Lynn hadn't seen her, then stashed it back under her bed and returned to her group.

She held up her intended bribe. "Behold."

The other four gathered around,  _ooh_ ing and  _ahh_ ing.

"Oh, ho, ho, Lucy, you are  _good,"_  Lori said. She held the prize, grinning deviously. "Girls… I do believe we've found our  _'ace'_  in the hole…"

(…)

" _Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee!"_

The next morning, Lincoln danced out of his room on his tiptoes. "Note to self: no more cocoa before bed!" he said as he rushed for the bathroom.

He knocked on the bathroom door, and after determining it to be unoccupied, he hopped inside to relieve himself. Lori, Leni, Lucy, Lola, and Lily all poked their heads out of their respective bedrooms and nodded at each other, putting their plan into action.

When Lincoln exited the bathroom, he found himself surrounded by flower bands, coconut bikinis, and grass skirts.  _"Good moooorrrrrning, Lincoln!"_  they all said.

" _Gah!"_  Lincoln yelped, startled. "Oh, uh, hey guys. Um, I didn't blow the conk…"

"We  _know_  you didn't, Linky," Lola said, "but we were just wondering: Have you made your decision yet?"

Lincoln stretched. "No, not yet. But if I need anything to help me think about it, I'll be sure to let you guys know."

The girls feigned disappointment. "Oh… that's too bad…" Lori said. She reached behind her back.

"…I guess you won't be wanting  _this,_  then!"

Lori pulled out a mint condition  _Ace Savvy_ comic. As Lincoln looked at his, his jaw dropped to the floor. That wasn't just any  _Ace Savvy_ comic they had.

Lincoln shakily raised a finger to point. "Is… Is that… the 1988  _Ace Savvy_  annual?"

" _Oho,_  you're familiar with this issue?" Lola said.

"Co-authored by legendary graphic novel writer Art Moore, detailing the backstory and motivations of recurring enemy and occasional love interest of Ace Savvy, the Trump Card! And… And that's the  _variant cover!_ And…!  _And…!"_  Lincoln crawled forwards on his knees, practically salivating. "And is it  _mint condition?_ Guys,  _where_ did you get that?!"

Lucy actually got it while trading in  _Princess Pony_ comics, but she didn't want the others to know that. "We have our ways…" she said.

Lincoln stood up and tried his best to look nonchalant.  _"Ahem…_  Well, uh, y-you know, guys, uh, um… I-I'm sure you couldn't  _possibly_ be interested in anything related to dumb kids' comics, right? If-If it's all the same to you, uh…" He looked at them bashfully. "Could I…  _have it…?"_

"It's all yours!" Leni said.

" _Oh, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU –"_

Before Lincoln could grab the comic, Lori held it up out of his reach.  _"If_  you vote for Aloha Beach."

" _Ohhh…"_  Lincoln groaned, "I should have known there would be a catch…"

"That's the deal, Lincoln. Take it or leave it."

Lincoln began to deliberate. On the one hand, he  _really_  wanted the comic. On the other hand, he still didn't want to disappoint his other five sisters. Once again, he found that he could not make a decision. "Well… um… I-I don't know…"

"Gosh," Leni said, "I guess you don't want this picture book as badly as we thought you did. Oh, well."

Lincoln knew he had to stall for more time. "H-Hey,  _no!_ I never said  _that!"_

"You didn't have to." Lori turned to Lucy. "Well, Lucy, this  _does_  belong to you. What do  _you_ want to do with it?"

"Hm. Don't know." Lucy's mouth gave the faintest hint of a smirk as she decided to raise the stakes. "Maybe I'll  _burn it."_

Lincoln was aghast.  _"What?!_ Wh-Wh-Why would you do something like that?!"

Lucy shrugged. "I like burning stuff."

"No, Lucy,  _wait!_ Y-You can't just  _burn_  that thing! Y-Y-You don't understand how  _valuable_ it is!"

"What do I care? It's just a  _dumb kids' comic,_  like you said…"

" _Oooh…!"_  Lincoln hated it when they used his own words against him.

"It's your choice, Lincoln," Lori said. "Either you vote for Aloha Beach, and we give you the comic… or you don't, and we give it to Lucy. What's it gonna be?"

Lincoln started sweating profusely, chewing on his fingernails. "L-L- _Look,_  Lucy, why-why don't I  _show_ you how valuable it is? Give it to me, and I'll sell it online, and we'll split the earnings 50-50!"

Lola held up one finger. "Going  _once…"_

" _Ah!_  O-Okay, 70-30! 70 for you, 30 for me! Just  _please,_ Lucy,  _PLEASE_  don't destroy it!"

Lola held up another finger. "Going  _twice…!"_

" _Ahhhh!_  Please, guys,  _please,_  this isn't the sort of decision to be made lightly! Just give me more time!"

Lori slowly began to hand the comic to Lucy. Lincoln  _really_  began to panic as the comic got closer and closer to Lucy's destructive hand. He knew that there was nothing he could do to change their minds – except one thing.

" _Ah… Gah… Buh…_ _ **AAAAAHHHHHHH!"**_  Lincoln prostrated himself before his sisters.  _"OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! I surrender! You win!"_ He looked up at them pleadingly. "Aloha Beach it is. Now,  _please…!"_

Lori smirked.  _"Awww,_ Lincoln… Now, was that so hard?" She handed the comic to him, and as he cradled it, she went to the head of the stairs.

" _Mom! Dad! Guys!"_  she called.  _"It's settled – we're going to Aloha Beach!"_

" _Okay, hon!"_  Mrs. Loud responded.

" _Alright, kids, start packing – we leave on Thursday!"_  Mr. Loud shouted.

As Team Aloha Beach celebrated their victory, Team Dairyland came storming up the stairs, howling in protest. Lori faced them head-on.

"Now, now, girls," Lori said smugly, "don't be like that." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. "Lincoln made his choice."

Most of Team Dairyland turned their wrath to Lincoln, but Lori, Leni, Lola, and Lily defended him from them. Lana, meanwhile, looked at Lucy, dumbfounded.

"How…" she said, "…how did you manage to get him on  _your_ side?"

Lucy folded her arms victoriously. "Two words:  _Trump Card."_

(…)

The ride to Aloha Beach may not have been the worst thing that happened on the Loud family's vacation that summer, but it was definitely not pleasant. Lincoln thought it was bad enough that Team Dairyland shunned him until Thursday, but then he had the misfortune of being stuck with three of them around him in Vanzilla. Lynn played an especially brutal game of "Auto Attack" with him on one side; on the other side, Luna was practically screaming in his ear the whole time as she jammed to the music from her headphones (almost surely on purpose); and Lana kept kicking the back of his seat. Lincoln took it all in stride – he understood why they were upset with him, and he knew he had to make it up to them before the trip was over.

Even so, there was only so much a boy could take – especially since even some of his allies on Team Aloha Beach were aggravating the entire ride. Lily wouldn't stop crying, no matter how hard Lola tried consoling her, and Lori threw up on Leni (who was too dazed to notice), stinking up the whole van even after the mess was cleaned up.

"…Are we there yet?" Lincoln eventually asked.

"Almost, kiddo," Mr. Loud answered. "And don't forget, I'm suffering just as much as you are!"

"Hey, Dad," Luan said, "how did you manage to afford to go to Aloha Beach, anyways?"

Mrs. Loud looked at her husband. "Honey, you didn't tell them?"

"Oh,  _dang it,_  I forgot!" Mr. Loud looked in the rearview mirror. "Kids, your mother won the lottery!"

Everyone's interest was immediately piqued.  _"Really?!"_

Mrs. Loud nodded. "Ninety-six thousand dollars! And after paying the bills, buying health insurance for you kids, and having a nice night out together, we had  _just_  enough left over for a weekend at  _Aloha Beach!"_

Team Aloha Beach cheered, while Team Dairyland brooded. "Well, I still would have preferred to engage in casual mathematics by calculating the lengths and velocities of the various mechanical apparatuses at Dairyland," Lisa said.

"And I wanted to ride the Milk Shaker!" Lana added. "But now I'll never get to be hit in the face with my own barf…"

"Yeah. Thanks a lot,  _Lincoln,"_  Lynn said.

Lori turned around to face her.  _"Hey!_ Don't blame  _him!_  If you want to blame someone, blame  _us!_  Or better yet, blame  _yourselves_  for not coming up with a plan like ours!"

"Well excuuuuuse  _me,_ princess," Luan said, "but not all of us are ruthless  _'beaches'_ like you!  _Hahahahaha!_  Get it? But seriously, screw you."

Lori and Luan started fighting, but Mrs. Loud shouted them down. "Hey, hey,  _hey! Enough!_  Girls, this is a  _family vacation_ – so we are going to act like a  _family!"_

Lori shrugged at her mother. "But Mom, that's what we're doing."

And with that, the entire van broke out in bedlam, with Lori and Luan resuming their argument, Lynn, Lana, Lola, and Lisa joining in (with Lana punctuating her arguments with kicks to the back of Lincoln's seat), Mrs. Loud vainly trying to end the argument, Luna turning up the volume on both her music player and herself, and Lily continuing to cry. And Lincoln, caught in the middle of it all, was as miserable as could be.

" _Are we there yet?!"_

(…)

One more hour passed, and it was the longest hour of Lincoln's life. At long last, however, they arrived. It was already evening when the Louds arrived, so they decided to wait until the next day to go swimming. In the meantime, the family checked into their hotel, had a fancy dinner, and settled in. The Louds slept in two separate rooms – Mr. and Mrs. Loud slept with Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lily in one room, while Lori supervised Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa in the other. There wasn't much space to go around, but the Louds were used to such things.

In the kiddie room, Lincoln and the others unpacked the last of their things, grabbed fresh pajamas, and prepared to go to bed. Lucy was the last one to go into the bathroom, and a few minutes after she heard the shower turn off, Lori declared lights-out. When the others protested how early it was, Lori countered, "We've got a big day ahead of us, guys. We've got to be ready to enjoy as much of it was we can."

Grumbling, the younger Louds prepared to go to sleep. Just as she was about to turn the lights out, Lori realized that Lucy was still in the bathroom. She got up and knocked on the door.

"Lucy!" she called. "Come on, lights out!"

There was no response. Looking at the door, Lori noticed that there was no light coming out from underneath.

"Lucy?"

Lori opened the door… and found Lucy sitting on the floor, in the middle of a pentagram surrounded by candles.

Lucy hissed.  _"Close the door!_  You're letting the light in!"

But Lori was not having any of this. Barging into the bathroom, she flicked the light switch on, drawing Lucy's ire. "Lucy," Lori said,  _"what_  are you doing?!"

"If you  _must_  know…" Lucy grumbled, "I was trying to perform a ritual that would ensure that a shark would show up tomorrow and attack someone. But now, I have to start all over again.  _Thanks."_

Lori sighed, shaking her head. "Lucy,  _look._  We are on the shore of Lake Michigan. There are  _no sharks_  in Lake Michigan."

Lucy balled her hands into fists and gritted her teeth. "Oh…  _now_  you tell me…" She pointed at her elder sister. "That was the  _whole reason_  I wanted to come here, Lori!"

"I know. And if I let you know the truth, I never would have kept your vote, okay?"

"You  _lied to me?"_

"Well, technically I  _misled_  you, but same basic principle, yeah."

" _Why?!"_

"Because I want a tan."

" _You –!"_  Lucy looked about ready to blow her top, but then she suddenly regained her composure.  _"…Sigh._  This is so not worth it. Fine, whatever. Work on your stupid tan. But I'm  _not_  giving up. I don't care who it is – I  _will_  see someone get attacked by a shark this weekend."

And with that, Lucy stormed out of the bathroom. Lori rolled her eyes.

"Good luck," she said as she began to clean up Lucy's mess.

(…)

That night, Lincoln had a strange dream. He was still lying in bed, but in an unfamiliar location. His family surrounded him.

And everywhere he looked… he saw their crying faces.

He wanted to ask them what was wrong, but his voice wouldn't come out. In fact, his mouth wouldn't even move.

Lincoln's eyes darted back and forth. He couldn't move at  _all._  What was happening?

He saw Lucy reach out from the corner of his eye, and he looked to see her hold his hand.

" _Lincoln…"_ she said,  _"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"_

"'Sorry' for  _what?"_  Lincoln wanted to ask, but his mouth still would not move. Suddenly, his family dissolved into shadow, and he saw a bright light…

Lincoln's head lifted up off his pillow.  _"…Lucy?"_ he blurted out.

Lucy was sitting on the loveseat, writing poetry. "What?"

Lincoln looked around. He was back in the hotel room, and the sun was shining through the glass door leading to the balcony. He looked at the clock. It was 8 a.m.

"What is it?" Lucy repeated.

Realization dawned on Lincoln.  _Oh… just a dream…_  he thought. It seemed so real, though. Then again, lots of dreams did. He sat up. "Oh, nothing, Lucy, just… woke up from a weird dream, is all…"

"What about?"

"Um…" Lincoln struggled to recollect his dream. "Well… I was lying in bed, and you and everyone else was all around me, crying about… something. Maybe you were crying for me? I don't know, I couldn't talk or move…"

Lucy tapped her pen against her chin thoughtfully, then started scribbling in her poetry book. Apparently, Lincoln's dream had provided her with inspiration. When she was done, she admired her handiwork, then smiled at Lincoln.

"…Thanks, Lincoln," she said.

Lincoln shrugged. "…Anytime."

Just then, Lori came in through the doorway connecting the grown-up room to the kiddie room (the two rooms that the Louds had reserved were right next to each other). Seeing Lincoln, she said, "Good, you're up. Hurry up and get dressed – we're grabbing breakfast."

Lincoln got up and stretched.  _"Ah…_  Okey dokey."

Lincoln threw on a clean orange polo, a pair of jeans, and put on his white sneakers, then went to get breakfast with the whole family. As the Louds ate, they planned the day ahead of them. It was decided that the morning would be dedicated solely to the beach, with a break for lunch, followed by an exploration of what else the hotel and surrounding area had to offer. At the same time, Lincoln quietly made a plan of his own – a plan to make sure that Team Dairyland ended up enjoying this vacation just as much as Team Aloha Beach.

After finishing breakfast, the Louds waited the requisite hour, then began to get ready to go to the beach. As his younger sisters (and Lori) changed into their bathing suits in the bathroom, Lincoln dug through his clothes, looking for his swimming trunks. When he didn't find them, he stood up, rushed to the door separating his room from his other elder sisters', and threw it open.

"Guys, I –  _AHHH!"_

" _LINCOLN, WE'RE CHANGING!"_

" _SORRY! SORRY!"_

Lincoln backed away, blushing and shielding his eyes, and managed to find the door and close it. Panting, he leaned against the door and desperately tried to remove what he had just seen from his memory.

After ten minutes, he knocked hesitantly. "…Are you decent?"

"…Come in, Lincoln," the girls said testily.

Lincoln opened the door, finding to his relief that his sisters and mother were now changed into their swimsuits. "Guys," he said, "I can't find my swimming trunks! I'm sure I packed them, I'm  _sure_ of it!"

"Oh – you  _did!"_  Leni chirped. "But I threw them out."

"What?!  _Why?!"_

"So that you would wear…" Leni ran and grabbed something from her bag, then presented it proudly.  _"…this!"_

She handed it to Lincoln, who eyed it skeptically. "What's  _this?"_

"It's a swimsuit, silly! I made it especially for you! Can't you tell by the color?"

Lincoln examined the orange swimsuit, feeling its scaly texture. As he turned it over in his hands, it caught the light, and the trunks glittered intensely.

Lincoln held the trunks at arm's length, squinting.  _"Ah –!_  Why is it so…  _shiny?"_

"It's a bold new look for the beach! I call it…  _'Sequined Swimwear'."_

"Ohhh…" Luan said, "I  _'sequin'_  what you did there!  _Hahahahaha!_ Oh, wait – no, I don't."

"You see, people are attracted to things that are shiny, right? So, I thought, if I covered a swimsuit entirely in shiny sequins, well, then  _everyone_  will have to look at it!"

"Yeah, and it'll be the last thing they ever see before it  _blinds them!"_  Lynn said.

"How can it blind them?" Leni asked. "It's got no sharp, pointy ends…"

Lincoln sighed. "Leni, look, I appreciate the gesture,  _really_  I do, but… I don't think I can wear this…"

Leni looked confused. "Huh? But… But you  _have_  to, Lincoln! Otherwise, you'd be going around all nakey!"

"Not if I wear Dad's spare pair of trunks!" Lincoln looked at Mrs. Loud beseechingly. "Right, Mom?"

" _Hmm…"_  Mrs. Loud thought about it, and decided that she didn't want to be staring at those tacky trunks all weekend long. "…All right, Lincoln. Come on; it'll be a bit big for you, but we can make adjustments –"

" _Dang it!"_

Mr. Loud's frustrated cry rang out from the bathroom. He came out holding up his swim trunks with one hand.

"Honey, what happened?" Mrs. Loud asked.

"The elastic band broke! These trunks are useless now!" He crossed over to his bag. "Luckily, I packed a spare…"

Lincoln slumped forward. Now, his only other options were skinny-dipping or sitting on the hot summer beach in his shirt and jeans – and neither prospect was very appealing.

Mr. Loud grabbed his spare trunks, then saw Lincoln holding the sequined trunks. "…What is  _that?"_  he asked.

Lincoln stared at the trunks glumly. "…My swimsuit."

(…)

Lucy panted as she paddled away from the beach. Her body was weak, scrawny, and pale from such a long time in the shadows – and although she preferred it that way, she had a goal that she intended to see through. She looked around, making sure that she was in the midst of the crowd. Satisfied by the shouting and splashing of the swimmers around her, she braced herself for what she was about to do.

She knew people did it all the time in pools – she, herself, was guilty of it from time to time. Even so, doing it surrounded by people was still embarrassing. She never knew if someone would feel an unexpected warm spot and come to the obvious conclusion.

But… this was for her dream, and what had to be, had to be.

Lucy closed her eyes… and released her bladder.

As Lucy relieved herself in the water, she looked around every few seconds to make sure no-one had caught on. As soon as she was done, she started swimming back to shore, praying that a shark would be attracted by the smell, as she had read in a book.

Because if not… she may very well have ruined someone's day at the beach.

" _Sigh._ This had better work…"

Meanwhile, Lincoln was returning from the bar, trying not to spill the (non-alcoholic) beverages in his hands as he navigated the crowded beach, his bare feet hopping back and forth on the burning sand.

" _Ah! Oh! Hot, hot, hot, hot, HOT! Ow! Ooh! Careful! Sorry! Excuse me! Coming through! OUCH! So hot! So hot! Ow, ow, ow –! Phew…"_

Safe on the soothing coolness of the beach towel, Lincoln handed the beverages to his mother, just as Lucy returned and retreated back into the shade. "There you go, Mom and Dad!" Lincoln said.

"Thank you, Lincoln!" Mrs. Loud said as she handed one drink to her husband. "Such a sweet young boy…" Resting in their sunloungers, Mr. and Mrs. Loud toasted to what promised to be a relaxing weekend.

As he took in the relief provided by the beach towel a little longer, he heard some older boys behind him snickering – undoubtedly at him and his swimsuit.  _Ignore it,_  Lincoln told himself.  _Right now, there are sisters that need your help._

As Lana was sitting just nearby, he decided to talk to her first. Lincoln sat down next to her. "Hey, Lana," he said.

Lana folded her arms and pouted.  _"Hmph."_

"Whatcha doin'?"

"… _Nothing."_

Lincoln followed Lana's sullen gaze, finding – to his pleasant surprise – that it rested on Lola. "…Looks like Lola's trying to build a sandcastle."

"…Yeah. So what?"

Lincoln looked at her. "I think she needs your help."

Lana glared at Lincoln.  _"Why should I?"_

"Because you can only build a magnificent sandcastle if you work  _together._  Lola's got the vision; you've got the skills. If you communicate, you can help each other out…"

Lana looked at Lincoln, and as she studied his tone and the look he was giving her, she realized that he wanted her to talk things out with her twin sister. In response, Lana hugged her thighs, rested her chin on her knees, and intensified her grumpy expression. Despite her inaction, however, Lincoln refused to leave. She could still feel his eyes on her, and she couldn't ignore them. She tried to block him out by focusing on Lola's floundering. She looked pathetic…

… _Too_  pathetic. Lana needed to intervene before she embarrassed herself any further. Sighing, she stood up and walked over to Lola.

"…What are you doing?" she said.

"I'm  _trying_  to make a tower, but the sand won't stay up!" Lola said.

Lana shook her head. "You need  _wet_  sand, remember? Come on."

Lana led Lola to the surf, where the waves lapped at the shore. Taking the pail from Lola, she gouged some wet sand out of the beach, compacted it, then planted it upside down, leaving a thick column of sand standing as she pulled the pail away.

"…What now, your highness?"

" _Hmm…_  This tower needs some battlements…"

Lana silently began packing wet sand into the corresponding mold. Lola could feel the frustration emanating from her, and she knew she had to say something about it. "Lana…"

Lana planted the 'battlements' on top of the 'tower'. "There.  _Now_  what?"

"Lana, what's the big deal?"

Lana started shuddering. Then, she threw the mold on the ground.  _"Why_  did you want to go to the  _beach?_  Why didn't you want to go to  _Dairyland?_  That place has got  _everything –_ pulse-pounding rollercoasters, big, uh… spinny… swing machines… and all the free snacks you can eat!"

Lola deadpanned at Lana. "Lana, the snacks there are  _not_  free."

"They are if you know where to look! You wouldn't  _believe_  how much perfectly good food people just  _throw away!"_  Lana shook her head. "Look, my point is, Dairyland is  _fun,_  and  _exciting!_ Why wouldn't you want to go there?"

Lola shrugged. "Well, we get plenty of fun and excitement at home, don't we? Maybe I thought a change of pace would be nice – something  _soothing,_  and  _relaxing…"_

"And  _boring!_  I mean, honestly, what is there to do here?"

"Not much – and that's the  _point!_  Why can't you just…  _let yourself go? Unwind?"_

"Well, maybe…  _Rrgh…_  Maybe I don't  _want_  to unwind! Maybe I wanted to enjoy the feeling of my heart racing, my blood pumping! Maybe I wanted  _you_  to enjoy that, too! Maybe…  _Maybe…"_  Lana hung her head, fighting back tears. "Maybe I just wanted you to have fun, doing something we could  _both_  enjoy…"

For a few moments, Lana stayed there, sniffling quietly. Then, she felt Lola's gentle touch rest on her shoulder.

"Oh, Lana…" Lola gulped. "…That's what  _I_ wanted, too…"

Lana's eyes shot open, and she lifted her gaze to meet Lola's. In that moment, the twins gained a clearer understanding of each other than ever before… and all it took was a single conversation.

Lola smiled at her sister. "Come on, Lana, give this vacation a chance. Maybe you'll see that some peace and quiet isn't so bad. And hey – if that's still not your style… then there are still ways to make the beach exciting!"

Lana perked up. "Like what?"

Just then, a big wave crashed into the shore, sweeping past Lola and Lana and destroying their meager tower. Before the water could retreat, Lola snatched a handful, adopting an impish grin.

"Like  _this!"_

Lola splashed Lana with the water, then got up and ran into the water. Laughing, Lana pursued her, and soon the twins were engaged in a playful splash fight. Lincoln watched the entire scene unfold, and although he didn't hear most of the conversation, he saw the twins having fun together, and that was enough.

He stood up. His work here was done – it was time to move on to the next sister.

Lincoln walked down the beach a ways and found Lisa crouching in the sand and picking up a small shell, which she examined.

"Hmm…  _Dreissena polymorpha…_  knowing the invasiveness of this species, there must be a colony nearby… perhaps on the pier?" She dropped the shell into a small metal box that she was carrying with her.

"Hey, Lisa," Lincoln said. "You're… collecting seashells?"

Lisa stood up and turned to face him. "This is not for sentimental purposes, elder brother. I intend to run tests on the seashells."

"Tests?" Lincoln scratched his head. "What kind of tests?"

"Tests to determine what types of chemicals would be best suited towards the removal of invasive species in the waterways while doing the least amount of damage to the environment."

"Oh, well, that's… noble of you…"

"But of course. Advancement of knowledge combined with altruism is the ultimate reconciliation of humanity and science."

"Well, it's nice to see that you're doing something that's productive  _and_  enjoyable for you on this trip – even though it's not where you wanted to go."

Lisa closed the box and picked it up. "One must find enjoyment in all things, Lincoln, if we are to find any meaning in continuing our existence."

Lincoln blinked. "Wow. That's… quite profound, Lisa."

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "Who did you think you were talking to?" With that, she turned and walked away, looking for more shells to collect.

Lincoln watched her go, then shrugged. Clearly, Lisa did not need his help. He went to look for another sister.

He found Luan a short while later, looking peeved. "Uh… hey, Luan," he said. "What's the matter?"

" _Rrgh…"_  Luan growled. "Forget sunblock – I'm going to need  _pervertblock!"_

Lincoln tilted his head. "Huh?"

Luan jerked her head backwards slightly. "You see that guy in the red and blue trunks?"

Lincoln looked over her shoulder to see a middle-aged man wearing red and blue trunks who appeared to be staring at Luan. "Yeah?"

"He's been eyeing me for  _fifteen minutes,_ now! Doesn't he realize that I'm  _fourteen?"_

"Are you  _sure?"_

"Yes, I'm  _sure!_  Wherever I go, he follows!  _Creep…"_

"Well, why don't you try telling him to stop?"

"I don't want to talk to him…"

Lincoln got an idea. "I never said anything about  _talking_  to him. I meant, try telling him to stop – in the only way  _you_ can."

That intrigued Luan.  _"Hmm…"_  Smiling, she turned around.  _"Hey, mister!"_

Luan's call turned a few other heads in the man's direction. The man looked around. "Huh…?"

Luan turned back around and spanked her butt at him.  _"Enjoying the view?"_

Everyone watching became disgusted with the man. His embarrassed stuttering only made him look guiltier, in Lincoln's eyes at least. "W- _Wha –?_  N- _No,_ I…! I… uh…"

"Enjoy it while it lasts – 'cause you won't enjoy it as much from  _behind bars! Hahahahaha!"_

Some of the beachgoers started laughing at the man's expense. Just when it appeared that things couldn't get any worse for him… his wife showed up.

" _Harry!"_ the man's wife said. "Where have you been? What are you  _doing?"_

As Harry attempted to make excuses to his wife, who clearly wasn't buying it, Luan and Lincoln walked off, laughing.  _"Hahahahaha!_ Oh  _man_ , did you see his face?  _Priceless!"_ Luan laughed again.

Lincoln laughed along with her. "You see, Luan? There are people just like him all over this beach – bullies, mean girls, perverts – that need to be put in their place! All you have to do is be yourself!"

Luan thought about it, then started beaming. "Hey… you're  _right! Thanks,_  Lincoln!"

Lincoln shrugged. "That's what I'm here for! Now go get 'em, tiger!"

Still smiling, Luan pranced off to annoy and/or embarrass someone who deserved it. Lincoln still felt a little bad for those people, but not much. He went on his way.

Luna, meanwhile, starved of an idea as to what to do, had meandered down the beach until she happened upon a small makeshift stage, where an amateur band was playing. Sad to say, this band was not particularly good, as evidenced by the lack of people dancing. Sure, the band was not  _terrible,_  given that the crowd was not booing them (or at least, ignoring them); but they  _were_  lame – enough so that the crowd was beginning to disperse.

Luna weaved her way through the crowd to the front, reaching it as the band finished their song. The lead guitarist and singer pumped his fist in the air when they were done.  _"Thank you!"_

The crowd responded with scattered, half-hearted applause. Luna looked at him, dumbfounded that he expected applause for that performance.

"Is that your best?" Luna called out. "Come on, dude! Here we are – now  _entertain us!"_

As far as heckling went, it wasn't that bad, but the lead singer still got offended. _"Excuse_  me? You think I don't know what the crowd wants? Maybe you think you're  _better_ than me, is that it?"

Offended in turn by his defensive attitude, Luna shot back, "No, I don't think so – I  _know_  so!"

"Well  _come on!_ Get up here and  _prove it!"_

" _Fine!"_ Luna climbed onto the stage and pulled the guitar off of the frontman – but as she began to play, she realized something was wrong.

"What the…?" She played a chord. "Hey… this thing isn't even  _tuned_  right!"

Several members of the crowd started snickering, wondering if the frontman even knew what he was doing. Luna tuned the guitar correctly, and as soon as she had, started shredding licks far beyond the frontman's capabilities, much to his astonishment. Luna topped off her solo with a reverberating riff, then threw up the goats as the crowd cheered.

Luna offered the guitar back to the frontman, smiling smugly. "Beat  _that."_

The frontman turned red. He knew he couldn't. He folded his arms furiously, and folded.

"Can't, huh?" Luna chuckled. "Move over, Rover – let Luna take over." She grabbed the microphone.  _"Are you people ready to get LOUD?"_

The crowd screamed. Luna shouted even louder,  _"I said: 'ARE YOU PEOPLE READY TO GET_ _ **LOUD?!'"**_

The crowd roared with excitement. Luna turned to the rest of the band – after hearing the out-of-tune guitar, she realized that the other bandmates were competent, and it was the frontman's lack of harmony that was polluting their sound. "All right, dudes, just pick up on the energies from me and the audience, and go from there. Cool?"

The bassist and drummer nodded. Luna tapped her foot.  _"One, two, three, four!"_

Lincoln managed to find Luna at around this time, and as he saw her playing in front of the dancing crowd, he knew that she was having a good time without his help. That only left one more sister.

Lincoln wandered around the crowded beach for several minutes before he was able to find Lynn, who was sulking along the edge of the water. "Hey, Lynn!" he called.

Lynn glared at him. "What do  _you_  want?" she asked venomously.

Lincoln backed off a little. He decided to open with something safe to try to loosen her up. "Hey, so… have you seen Lori or Leni anywhere?"

Lynn scoffed.  _"Tch…_ Lori's working on her tan and watching Lily, and Leni's off chasing after any hot guys she can find.  _Typical."_

"Oh, I see. So, uh… what are  _you_  doing?"

"What do  _you_  care?"

"Uh… w-well… Well, I just thought, 'cause… I saw some people playing beach volleyball over there…" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "…and I thought maybe we could join in?"

Lynn bit her lower lip.  _"No thank you."_

"Why not? You'd  _kill_  at that game!"

Lynn threw her hands up.  _"Ugh!_  Do you think I  _want_  to watch some other girl's mounds of  _fat_  jiggle around in front of my eyes? For that matter, do you think I want to be  _here,_  surrounded by girls flaunting their flawless skin and slutty curves for me and everyone else to see?!"

"Wha…?" Suddenly, Lincoln realized what Lynn was so upset about. "Oh…  _Oh…"_  He scuffed the beach, wondering what the best way to go about this was. "Uh… Lynn… are you worried that… you're not as  _pretty_  as the other girls here…?"

Lynn's expression turned even darker, and she advanced on him, holding up her fist.  _"Lincoln, are you looking for a pounding?!"_

Lincoln held his hands up, backing away. "Be-Because that's about the  _stupidest_  thing I've ever heard! Lynn,  _what_  do you have to be ashamed of?!"

Lynn stopped. Her puzzlement had overridden her anger. "Huh…?"

Lincoln breathed a sigh of relief, then continued. "So what if you're not as…  _developed…_  as some of the other girls around here? You're still growing, Lynn! Just give it time! And even if you  _don't_  develop, there's still nothing wrong with that! Guys who like women based solely on their…  _size…_  are nothing but shallow losers! And if they pass you up based solely on that, then… then they're overlooking everything  _else_ about you! You're  _sleek; hydrodynamic;_  uh… _compact!_  I'd bet my life savings that none of these girls can swim even _half_  as fast as you can, Lynn! And your freckles… w-well… some guys find freckles s… s…  _sexy…!"_  Lincoln forced the last word out of his mouth.

Lynn rubbed her forearm. "Huh… I… I never thought about it that way…"

"And besides, looks aren't everything! Lynn, you're one of the coolest people I know. I don't know a single sport in  _existence_  that you're not good at. And you've got a passion to match your skill. If guys can't handle that… well, then I guess they're just not  _man enough_  for you."

Lynn was touched by Lincoln's words. She stared at him admiringly.  _"Lincoln Loud…_ where did you learn to be such a sweet-talker?"

"I didn't  _learn_ – it's a  _gift."_

Lynn chuckled. "You're gonna be quite the lady-killer someday, Romeo…" Lynn sighed contentedly.  _"Ah…_  well, thanks, Lincoln. I really needed that." Suddenly, she raised her fist as if to punch him. Lincoln flinched.

"Two for flinching." She hit his arm twice.  _"Haha…_  But, that aside, I still don't want to be here. I mean, I'd rather be riding some high-octane rides at Dairyland…"

"Well, we can still have an exciting time  _here!_  There's volleyball, like I said, and…" Lincoln looked out at the water. He spied a platform far out from the beach, and got an idea.  _"Oh! Hey!"_  He pointed at the platform. "Race you to that little island-thing over there!"

Lynn snorted derisively.  _''Race'?_  You…  _You_ want to race  _me? Seriously?"_

"Yeah, why not?"

"Lincoln, I could outswim you with both my feet tied together."

Lincoln got right up in her face.  _"Prove it._  Unless you're scared you might actually  _lose…"_

Lynn squinted at him.  _"Ohoho,_  you're  _asking_  for it, Lincoln…"

" _Bring it."_

Lynn smirked. "All right. You want to go?" Without warning, she shoved him to the ground and ran past him to the water.  _"Let's go!"_

Laughing, Lincoln got up and ran after her. Both of their competitive sides had been drawn out. By the time Lincoln was halfway there, Lynn was already in the water. Lincoln picked up the pace…

…and a sharp pain lanced through his foot.

" _OW!"_

Hopping on his right foot, Lincoln looked at the sole of his left to see it oozing blood. Whatever he had just stepped on, it was  _sharp._

" _Come on, slowpoke!"_ Lynn called out from the water.  _"You're falling behind!"_

Lincoln shook his head. It was just a little cut – no big deal. He'd be swimming most of the time, anyway. And right now, Lynn required his attention – and if he backed out now because of this, she'd call him a wimp. The cut could wait – Lincoln had a race to swim.

Lincoln dove into the water, trying to catch up with Lynn. Back on the beach, a fresh wave washed the blood off of the object Lincoln had stepped on just as Lisa happened upon it.

"Ah. And what have we here?" Lisa pulled the buried object out of the sand. "A fractured approximate one-half of a silicate-based beverage container – street name, broken bottle." She huffed as she carried it to the trash can. "Some people have  _no_  respect for the environment…"

Meanwhile, Lincoln was running out of steam. Lynn was far ahead of him now – there was no way he could catch up. He stopped to catch his breath, treading water… then something odd happened.

Lincoln looked down. He was in deep water, yet he had bumped into something.

Or rather…  _something_  had bumped into  _him._

Lincoln turned around. At first, he didn't see anything. When he did see it, he thought it was a trick of the light on the water. But then he truly saw it. He didn't know what it was, but it was a dark shape, making tiny waves as it cut through the water, moving closer.

Lincoln froze. There was something in the water.

And it was moving towards him.

Lincoln slowly turned to see Lynn, far away and swimming even further.

"L… Lynn…?"

And then the shape pulled him under.


	2. Bloody Water

With kick after kick and stroke after stroke, Lynn powered through the water. She swam the breaststroke as fast as she could – which was an impressive speed. Even if she was swimming the doggy paddle, Lynn bet that she could outswim Lincoln any day of the week. Even so, she didn’t ease up on her strokes, recalling the fable of the tortoise and the hare. At times like these, Lynn only had one thing on her mind: _winning._ And that meant pushing it to the limit at all times.

Soon, Lynn reached the floating platform, pulled herself onto it, and punched the air triumphantly. _“BOOM! I win! YEAH!”_ She started doing her victory dance. _“UNH-uh-UH-uh-UHN! Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner! WOO! In your FACE, Lincoln!”_

Lynn turned to point at her defeated brother, but found herself pointing at empty water. She stopped gloating, confused. Where had he gone?

“…Lincoln?” she said. _“Lincoln?”_

She looked around. Lincoln’s distinctive white hair was nowhere in sight. Lynn’s mind began racing. What could have happened? Didn’t he follow her into the water? Yes, she was sure of that – Lynn had looked back early in the race, and he had been swimming far behind, trying to catch up.

Perhaps he had given up, turned back? Lynn gazed out at the beach and squinted, trying to find him. He would have been impossible to miss – besides his white hair, he also was wearing that gaudy swimsuit Leni made for him. But no matter where she looked, she didn’t see him.

Was he mingling with the other swimmers? Lynn scanned the crowd, looking for a head of white hair. Every time she found one, it turned out to just be an old man or woman. There were plenty of kids in the water, but none with white hair.

Lynn was stumped. Where _was_ he? “Lincoln?” she called. _“Lincoln?”_ She started wringing her hands. “Lincoln, this _isn’t funny! Lincoln?”_

Lynn started wracking her brain. _Where_ could he possibly have gone? The more she thought about it, the more she realized that the only possible place he could be… was underwater.

Trembling, Lynn looked at the water one last time. “Lincoln…?”

She saw an odd color begin to permeate the water.

_“Lincoln?”_

Slowly, she realized that the color was red.

It was blood.

_“LINCOLN!”_

(…)

Lincoln opened his mouth, but the water swallowed his screams. The thing was dragging him forwards and down – further down than he had even thought possible. Just how deep was this water? Lincoln stole a glance at the surface, and seeing how far away it was made him suddenly aware of a burning sensation in his lungs, growing stronger.

Lincoln realized that he needed to conserve oxygen, and so he shut his mouth, holding on to the last scraps of air left in his lungs. The thing continued dragging him down. The water was too dark and murky for him to see what it was, but whatever it was, it had a firm grip on his leg. Lincoln knew that if he didn’t want to drown – or worse – he would have to free himself from the creature, and _fast._

The creature was below him and to the right, with his left leg in its jaws. Lincoln tried kicking the thing, and it stopped dragging him – only for it to start thrashing, shaking him back and forth. Lincoln completely lost his bearings, but as he was tossed to and fro, he began to discover that he was more flexible than he had been before, and he began struggling to free himself. The creature briefly released him, only to clamp down on his leg again, but as it flailed, Lincoln was not as battered about as he was before. Most of what Lincoln could feel from his left leg was pain – unspeakable, unimaginable _pain_ – but he also felt a small, sharp tugging sensation. Lincoln fought that sensation with all his might, and with one final twist from him, a yank from the creature, and one last searing bolt of pain… he was free.

His jubilation was short-lived – the fire in his lungs reminded him that he had spent all of his oxygen, and he struggled to right himself, looking for the surface. Everything was so murky, so _bloody_ – but Lincoln looked carefully, and he found the light. Lincoln started swimming up, but for whatever reason, his kicks didn’t have the power behind them that they should have. As the burning lack of air began to become unbearable, Lincoln started panicking. The surface was so far away. _Why_ was the surface still so far away?! He kicked and stroked as hard as he could, but the exertion only made his lungs cry for more oxygen, until eventually he caved.

He gasped for air. What he got was water. His throat tightened, sending the water into his stomach instead of his lungs, but it could do nothing to provide him with oxygen. Lincoln swallowed gulp after gulp of water, jerking back and forth, desperate for even a single breath of air, but it was hopeless.

And as his brain starved for lack of oxygen, he found his vision growing darker… _darker…_

(…)

Leni prowled the beach, looking for a hot guy she could devour. Hopefully the next one would be available – as thirsty as she was, she would hate to get in between a committed relationship again. Like with that guy earlier, Brian – he was very receptive to her advances, and Leni had her arms around his thick neck, his muscular arms around her slender waist, and she was standing on her tiptoes to reach his face as he pulled her in for a kiss… when a girl came around, grabbed Leni by the hair, and threw her to the sand. Leni had barely gotten onto her knees when the girl grabbed her by the hair again and yanked her head up, demanding to know who she thought she was. Leni, genuinely confused, asked the girl who she was. The girl angrily responded that she was Brian’s girlfriend, which was odd – Leni distinctly remembered Brian telling her that he didn’t have a girlfriend. She told the girl as much, and, outraged, the girl released Leni and began yelling at Brian. Leni took the opportunity to crawl away while Brian’s girlfriend was busy nailing him in the crotch. She felt awful about the whole affair – she had started a fight between a happy couple. Gosh, that was just the _worst…_

Well, maybe this time would be different. She walked along the beach, scoping out every guy she came across. No, too old. Too fat. Too scrawny. He didn’t look very nice. Ooh, now _him,_ on the other hand – no, wait, she had tried flirting with him already, and he had a girlfriend. Lucky her… Not _him,_ he was gay – he’d told her so himself.

Leni sighed. Every guy on the beach either was taken or, if they were free, didn’t meet her standards. She leaned against the lifeguard’s high chair, disappointed.

Then she looked up, and saw the lifeguard.

The sun’s glare obscured most of her view of him initially, but then Leni got the idea of actually wearing her sunglasses over her eyes, and she was able to see him much better. Leni checked him out. _Mmm, look at that hair,_ she thought. _Nice tan, too. Lean – not, like, SCRAWNY lean, but TONED lean; the perfect body for a swimmer. Ooh, Leni, could you be lucky this time?_

Leni unbuttoned the shirt she wore over her swimsuit so that her cleavage was showing, then leaned forward with a half-lidded look. _“Heyyy, Mr. Lifeguard…”_ she said.

The lifeguard didn’t even look at her, instead continuing to watch the beach. “Hello, ma’am,” he said.

Leni pouted a little as he ignored her, but she wasn’t about to give up just yet. “Hey, so, I, like, need to know something…”

The lifeguard arched an eyebrow. This girl sounded familiar. “Huh?” He looked down at her.

Biting her lip, Leni flaunted her goods before his eyes. “Is this outfit… too _hot_ for the beach…?”

She _looked_ familiar, too. The lifeguard raised his sunglasses up for an unobscured view. _“Leni?”_

Leni jolted upright, surprised. “Oh, _wow!_ How did you know my name?”

“Leni, it’s _me,_ Bobby!”

Leni squinted. With the sun still in her eyes, she happened upon an idea. Walking clockwise around the high chair until it was directly facing her, she got a totally clear view of him – and now she saw that yes, it _was_ Bobby.

_“Bobby?”_

At that moment, Lori (who had left Lily with Lucy and Mr. and Mrs. Loud and spied Leni flirting with the lifeguard from afar) came up to her. “There you are, Leni. Quit flirting, Mom wants you to –” As she talked, she glanced up at the high chair and saw her boyfriend sitting in it. Her heart skipped a beat. “B-Bobby?! _Bobby Boo-Boo Bear?!”_

 _“Babe!”_ Bobby quickly climbed down from his perch, and they embraced happily. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re on vacation! What are _you_ doing here?”

“I told you I got a new summer job, didn’t I?”

“Well, I knew you were getting a job outside of town, but I never thought it would be _here!”_

“Small world, huh, babe?”

Lori laughed. _“Literally!”_ As she giggled, she remembered something – something that made her good humor instantly curdle. She turned to Leni, face contorted in fury. _“Leni…”_ she growled, _“were you FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND?!”_

Leni yelped, holding up her arms in defense. “I’m sorry, Lori!” she whimpered. “I-I didn’t know it was him!”

Lori didn’t buy it, but then she felt Bobby’s hand on her shoulder. “No, it’s okay, babe,” he said. “She really didn’t.”

Lori folded her arms. She had to take _somebody’s_ word for it – and both of them claimed the same thing. Eventually, Lori decided that Bobby would never lie to her and accepted it, shaking her head. _Classic Leni…_ she thought. “Alright, Leni,” she said, “I’ll forgive you.” She got up in Leni’s face. _“THIS time.”_

Leni laughed nervously, backing off. Bobby tried to lighten the mood by making small talk. “So, babe, you and your family are on vacation here, huh?”

Lori turned back to him. “Oh, yeah! Funny story, actually – we had to choose between this or Dairyland. Five of us voted for Dairyland, while Leni and I were among the five to vote for Aloha Beach.”

“Good choice, babe!”

“I know, right?”

“So, how’d you break the tie?”

Lori grinned at Leni. “We managed to get Lincoln on our side with a little… _persuasion…”_

Leni nodded, smiling. “Yeah – we bribed him!”

“Oh, I… I see…” Bobby said.

“Mm-hmm!” Leni said, oblivious to Lori shooting her a wry stare. “So, anyways, Bobby, you, like, work here?”

“Yep!” Bobby said proudly. “I applied for a job on account of my pool lifeguard training, and now, after a little extra training, I’m a _beach_ lifeguard too!”

“Cool! So, like, are your mom and Ronnie Anne here, too?”

Bobby shook his head. “No, actually, I… I’m here by myself.”

Leni gasped. _“Really?”_

“Yeah! See, the thing is, my mom thinks I rely on her and Niní too much, so she sent me out here on my own – to learn how to be more independent, you know? You know, as practice for when I move out and go to college…”

“Oh, I get it!”

“Yep! So, I’m here for the summer to learn how to stand on my own two feet.” Bobby rubbed the back of his head. “O-Of course, I’m staying with my cousin Eduardo while I’m doing it, but, uh, y’know… _baby steps.”_

Lori chuckled slyly, sashaying up to him and dancing two fingers up his abs to his pectorals. “Oh, Boo-Boo Bear, you know how I love _strong, independent men…”_

Bobby blushed. “Y-You do?”

“Mm-hmm. In fact…” She hooked a finger in Bobby’s trunks and pulled him closer by them. “…I also happen to love a man in _uniform.”_

Bobby chuckled, wrapping his arms around Lori’s waist and held her close, but looking down and seeing his red trunks with a cross on them reminded them of his duty. He decoupled from Lori. “Yeah, that reminds me, uh – i-it was great seeing you, babe, but, I kinda have a job to do…”

Lori nodded. “Oh, of _course,_ of _course…_ You go do your duty, then…” She sighed as Bobby climbed back into his perch. “My Boo-Boo Bear, guarding lives at the beach… So _brave…_ So _heroic…!”_

Bobby shrugged. “Eh, someone’s gotta do it, babe,” he said, settling back into his seat.

“And I feel _sooo_ much safer knowing _you’re_ doing it.” She sighed again. “So, Bobby, you’re a fully-trained lifeguard?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Right, because, I was just wondering…” Lori leaned against the high chair and fluttered her eyelashes. “Could you teach me… _CPR?”_

Bobby didn’t answer. Lori blinked. “Bobby?”

Still no answer. Lori furrowed her eyebrows. “Um, _hello?_ Bobby? Your _girlfriend_ is talking to you!”

“Y-Yeah, uh, hold on, babe, hold on…” Bobby said distractedly, his eyes riveted on the water. He fumbled for his binoculars, managed to find them, and looked through them, never once taking his eyes off the water.

Lori and Leni followed his gaze. “Bobby…? What is it?” Lori asked.

Bobby squinted, trying to focus on what he was looking at. There was some sort of discoloration in one patch of water, further out from most of the swimmers. He concentrated hard, trying to discern the color. He was still unsure, but from where he was, it looked… _red._

 _Is that…_ _blood?_ he thought.

 “Bobby, what’s going on?” Lori asked, more insistently this time.

Bobby kept scanning the water. Had there been an accident? If so, what kind of accident could cause that much blood? He looked around for a struggling swimmer – or, in the worst case scenario, a body – when he saw something. An indistinct shape, moving through the water as gracefully as a fish. As Bobby watched it, he slowly realized that it _was_ a fish.

And then he saw its dorsal fin cutting the surface.

“Is…” Bobby lowered his binoculars. _“Is that a –?!”_

Bobby jumped to his feet and blew three long blasts on his whistle. _“Everyone out of the water!”_ he shouted. He blew three more blasts. _“Everyone out of the water NOW!”_ Maybe he was just seeing things. Maybe what he saw wasn’t really a shark. If so, he could expect to be in trouble with his boss later. He didn’t care. The safety of the swimmers was his number one priority.

Lori and Leni watched as the swimmers all hurried out of the water, their apprehension rising. Lori grabbed Bobby’s high chair, looking up at him. “Bobby? Bobby, _what’s happening?”_ She started shaking the chair. “Boo-Boo Bear, _tell me what’s going on!”_

Bobby didn’t listen, instead continuing to blow his whistle and order everyone back to the beach. He sighed in relief after seeing the crowd return safely to the beach, but it was short-lived. Far off in the distance, far away from the main body of swimmers, a pair of straggling swimmers caught his eye. Looking through his binoculars, he saw that one of them was carrying the other, and she was clearly struggling. Stranded all alone in the water, they were sitting ducks.

Bobby sprang into action, practically jumping down from his high chair and grabbing a rescue tube. Before he could rush into the water, however, Lori grabbed his hand.

“Bobby, _wait!”_ she cried, tears in her eyes. _“What are you doing?!”_

 _“My job!”_ Bobby shouted back as he yanked his hand out of her grip. Lori could only watch helplessly as her beloved boyfriend jumped into unknown, but almost certain, danger…

(…)

_“Lincoln, hang on!”_

 Lynn dove into the water and began swimming down, looking for Lincoln. She didn’t know what happened to him, what did this to him, whether that thing was still in the water, or even _if_ something did this to him, but she pushed all those thoughts aside. Her brother was in trouble, and she was his only hope.

It was difficult to make anything out in the water, especially with all the blood, but Lynn managed to spot Lincoln, floating lifelessly in the water. She cried out, a cluster of bubbles spewing from her mouth, and she swam toward him, grabbed him, and pulled him to the surface as quickly as she could. She held Lincoln in her arms. “Lincoln…?” she said fearfully.

Lincoln didn’t respond. She put her ear to his mouth. He wasn’t breathing.

“No… Oh, no, no, no, no, _no, no, no, no, NO! Lincoln!”_ Trying her best to keep his head above water, she pinched his nose, opened his mouth, and blew three hard breaths into his water-filled lungs. Then, she used one hand to hold him up while blindly pounding on his chest and stomach with the other. _“Breathe…!”_ she begged. _“BREATHE…! **BREATHE, DAMMIT, BREATHE!”**_

She may have been panicking, and she may not have known what she was doing, but Lynn’s frantic attempts at resuscitation still managed to work. Lincoln revived, gasping and coughing, to his sister’s immense relief. His eyes fluttered open and shut, unfocused.

Lynn supported Lincoln’s head. “Lincoln… Lincoln, are you alright?” she asked.

Lincoln recognized that voice. _“…Ly… nn…?”_ he said.

“That’s right, Lincoln, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

As the water darkened around the two, Lynn suddenly became aware that Lincoln was bleeding profusely. _“Oh… Oh my God!”_ she said. “Lincoln, we’ve got to get you back to shore!” She pulled Lincoln around until she was carrying him on her back, with his arms hanging loosely over her shoulders.

She crossed his arms around her neck and held them there. “Alright, Lincoln, I’ll do all the paddling. You just hang on!”

Lincoln only groaned in response, filling Lynn with dread. Without wasting a breath, she started kicking and stroking, only to immediately lose Lincoln. Lynn turned around, expecting to see Lincoln sinking, but his instincts had kicked in, and he was treading water – albeit weakly, his head barely above water.

Looking back at him now, Lynn saw that he was barely conscious. “No, Lincoln, _no…”_ She swam back up to him and carried him on her back again, now holding his arms with both hands. Lynn began kicking only, attempting to paddle back to the beach.

It was only now that Lynn became aware of the lifeguard calling everyone out of the water. She kicked as hard and as fast as she could, but she made slow progress. Lynn had won blue ribbons for the 50m freestyle, the 100m freestyle, the 200m freestyle, the 50m breaststroke, the 50m backstroke, the 50m butterfly, the 100m butterfly… but in all those competitions, she had never been only using her legs, and never carrying another person on her back. Soon, the seemingly limitless reserves of stamina that Lynn had built up over all her sports-playing days began to dry up – and they weren’t even halfway to the beach.

As Lynn began to tire, Lincoln drifted into lucidity for a brief moment. He realized that he was in the water, and Lynn was carrying him. “Lynn…” he moaned into her ear.

 “H… Hang on, Lincoln, j-just _hang on!_ We’re getting there!” Lynn said, panting.

Lincoln’s breathing became ragged and shallow. “Lynn, I…”

“S- _Shut up!_ Just _shut up,_ Lincoln! We… We’ve gotta…!”

Lincoln could barely tell what was happening anymore. The only thing he could think of doing… was telling Lynn how he felt.

_“…I’m so cold, Lynn…”_

Lynn’s eyes widened even further than they already were. In that moment, she knew that she was losing him. A burst of adrenaline gave her a second wind, and she kicked harder and faster than ever before…

…but it wasn’t enough. By the time she ran out of stamina again, they were little more than halfway to the beach.

Lynn couldn’t tell from being in the water, but she began to cry. “P… Please…” she said. “Please, God… _Please…”_

Her prayers were answered, as the next time she looked up, she saw the lifeguard swimming towards the two of them. As he got closer, they recognized each other.

 _“Lynn!”_ Bobby said.

Lynn was just as surprised to see him, but she pushed those feelings aside. “Bobby… _help…”_ she gasped.

“Are you alright? I-Is that Lincoln?”

“H-He’s bleeding… Bobby, _please…”_

Bobby pulled Lincoln off of Lynn’s back, holding him to his chest. “I’ve got him. Come on!” He tossed her the rescue tube, slung the leash attached to it over his shoulder, and began swimming the sidestroke with both Lynn and Lincoln in tow…

(…)

Lola and Lana heard Bobby’s panicked voice calling the swimmers back to the beach as they built another sandcastle and looked at each other, confused, before having to retreat as the swimmers complied, equally confused, destroying their sandcastle in the process. Luna, in between jams, Lisa, still collecting seashells, and Luan, telling off a pair of mean girls, all heard him as well, and stopped what they were doing to investigate. And Leni picked Lori up off her knees and got her on her feet. Soon, they were all part of the crowd of sunbathers and swimmers alike.

The crowd murmured uneasily, wondering and worrying about what was going on. Other lifeguards, drawn by the commotion, attempted to settle the crowd down. One by one, the girls all found their way back to Lucy, Lily, and their parents, and the Louds reunited.

“Dudes, what’s going on?” Luna asked.

“That’s what _we_ want to know!” Mr. Loud said.

“Well, _something_ must have happened,” Leni said. “Bobby started –”

“Bobby’s here?” Luan said.

“Yeah, he’s a lifeguard. He just started blowing his whistle and shouting for everyone to get out of the water – and wouldn’t explain why! Weird…”

Lucy scratched her chin, intrigued. _“Hmmm…_ could it be…?”

Lana looked around the group. “Hey, where’s Lynn and Lincoln?” she asked.

Everyone else looked around as well. Soon, the Louds were all calling out for their missing members.

 _“Hey, look!”_ someone in the crowd said, pointing out at the water.

Everyone started looking, and when they saw it, they began crowding towards the surf. Forced forwards by the crowd, the Louds saw, alongside everyone else, Bobby swimming back to the beach, with two swimmers in tow.

Lola squinted, trying to make out the two swimmers. “Is that… _Lynn?”_ she said.

“And based upon the composition of the crowd, there is an approximately 99.1 percent chance that the other individual… is Lincoln,” Lisa said.

The Louds fought their way to the front of the crowd, anxious to see two of their own back to shore. Lynn released the rescue tube and, in one last burst of strength, swam up to Bobby’s side in time to wade alongside him, dragging Lincoln back ashore.

They dragged him to the beach, close enough for the crowd to get a good look at him. Several people screamed – the Louds loudest of all.

Lincoln’s left leg was gone.

It ended at the knobby end of his white femur, surrounded by shredded, hemorrhaging flesh. His kneecap hung loosely from a thin strip of tendon. The sight made Mr. Loud faint.

Lynn helped Bobby drag Lincoln onto the beach, then fell on her hands and knees, completely exhausted. The other Louds surrounded Lincoln, followed by the rest of the crowd. They immediately began bombarding Lynn and Bobby with questions and trying to check on Lincoln. Bobby, frustrated, warded them off.

 _“Stand back, goddammit!”_ he shouted. “Give him some air!” He looked at another lifeguard. “Shirley! Grab the first aid kit!”

“First aid kit?!” Lori said as Shirley ran to the lifeguard tower to fetch it. “Forget _that!_ He needs _serious_ help, _right now!”_

Bobby gritted his teeth. He knew Lori was right – every second they wasted could mean the difference between life and death. “…All right. First, we have to stop the bleeding.” He looked up at Leni, then pointed at her. “Leni, I need your shirt!”

Leni blinked, taken aback. “Excuse me?”

_“Now!”_

Leni yelped, hurriedly removing her shirt and handing it to Bobby, who promptly tore it in half.

“My _shirt!”_ Leni cried out, only to immediately regret it. How could she think about her clothes at a time like _this?_

Bobby tied one half of the shirt around Lincoln’s thigh, then pointed at Lana. “Lana, I need your shovel!” he said.

Lana handed her toy shovel over without any complaints, and Bobby slipped it through the looped rag, creating a makeshift tourniquet which he tightened.

Lisa tried to sound calm, but emotion still managed to creep into her voice. “B-Bobby,” she said, “is there any way that we might be of assistance?”

“If you want to help,” Bobby said, “then keep that leg elevated. And somebody hold this!”

Lucy lifted Lincoln’s lacerated leg up in the air, while Lola took the tourniquet from Bobby and held it tight. As she held the leg, Lucy noticed something stuck in it. It looked like a bone fragment. Almost absentmindedly, she plucked it out of the torn muscle, just as Bobby wrapped the other half of the shirt around the bleeding stump.

Shirley returned with the first aid kit, and Bobby ordered her to use the bag valve mask on Lincoln. He looked around the crowd, noting with approval that everyone who had a phone was frantically dialing 9-1-1.

“N-Now what?” Lola asked.

Bobby wiped his brow. “I’ve done everything I can. Now, all we can do is wait until the paramedics arrive.”

Mrs. Loud knelt by her son’s side. Lincoln was deathly pale, and no longer conscious. His skin was cold and clammy to the touch. Overcome by the sorry state he was in, she collapsed in a sobbing heap on his chest.

 _“Oh, my sweet baby…”_ she cried.

Some of the other beachgoers began weeping too, touched by the poignant scene and frightened for the young boy’s life. Lucy remembered that she still had the bone fragment in her hand. She looked at Lisa. “Lisa,” she said, “do you mind taking over for me?”

Lisa obliged, taking Lincoln’s leg from her and keeping it elevated. Lucy stood up and examined the bone fragment. It was triangular in shape, with serrated edges and a sharp point.

Lucy uttered a quiet _“Gasp.”_ It wasn’t a bone fragment. It was a _tooth._

Meanwhile, the other sisters were yelling at Lynn out of fear for Lincoln’s life.

“Lynn, what happened out there?!”

“Was he with you when this happened?!”

“You were supposed to be taking care of him! This was _your_ responsibility!”

_“Why weren’t you watching him, Lynn?!”_

Lynn sobbed helplessly, outnumbered and overwhelmed. Lori shouted the others down.

“Guys, _enough!”_ She sighed, came up to Lynn, kneeled down, and put one hand on her shoulder. “Lynn, please tell us: _what happened?”_

Lynn shook her head. _“I… I didn’t… I don’t…”_

Lucy stepped between her and the others. “Two words.” She held up the tooth for everyone to see.

_“Shark attack.”_


End file.
